I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize