One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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