He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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