I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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