She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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