omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
