So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
