So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
