just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
