Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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