I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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