you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
