I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
