Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
