i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
