he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
