and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you will always have a special place in my vag
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
