is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
