her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
