Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
