it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
