im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
