please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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