I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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