Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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