wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
