Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
