Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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