Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
