you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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