Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
