is your mom at the bar?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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