Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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