Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
