I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
