She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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