They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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