You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
