Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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