In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
