tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
where are you?
Hypothermia
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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