She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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