she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
