when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
