Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
