Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
