just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Randomize
