Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
