Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
