i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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