do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
