You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize