used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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