did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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