You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize