About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
