I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
