she was so not down for the gang bang
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
