i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize