I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
